“Psychobbabble”. Ask our new clinical psychologist…

Maropeng Ralenala, Clinical Psychologist

“Dear Maropeng,

Why is it that I always seem to start off diets well, and then after a few weeks or even days, I fall completely off the wagon? Why do I have such terrible will-power to lose weight?”    ~ Samantha, Sandton

Dear Samantha,

Diets work. This we know. Every good weight loss book, every balanced eating plan, every sound advice from the dietician. It all really works. Easy enough… Or is it? If you know and understand the physiology of weight loss, then why is it that you and so many other well-intentioned people fail time and regrettably time again? Because diets only work if you actually follow them. And more than that, if you follow through on them. Therefore, you may have found that having your day-to-day diet plan enlarged and plastered across your fridge door, and having rid your kitchen of all traces of “forbidden” foods, just hasn’t been enough to see you through to your weight loss goals. This is very likely because your shopping list is missing one vital ingredient: Motivation.

Motivation is the psychological feature that drives you to action towards a desired goal, in your case, the goal to lose weight. However, the anatomy of motivation is such that ‘getting it’ is a lot easier than keeping it. This is why you’ve found starting a diet easier than staying on it, because motivation wanes with time if not revived over and over again. Hmm… So in essence, motivation itself needs motivation… and herein lay your GOALS. You need to be absolutely clear on what your goals are, your own Samantha-certified personalized and clear goals for your weight loss. The challenge here is that it’s usually not enough to just state a number, 5 kg or 20kg etc. You’ve known that for years perhaps, and have probably stated it many a time. But telling yourself “I really need to lose 10kg” has not resulted in reaching that goal. Your goals need to be much clearer, more specific, and more descriptive than just having a number in mind. The better question to ask is. “Why do I really want to lose weight”? At first glance, this may sound like an obvious question, with a generic answer such as “I want to be thinner”. But if you have been struggling with your weight, it means that such an answer has not been specific enough for you. You need to ask yourself the question over and over again until you find what losing weight really means for Samantha. Is it that you would like to feel more confident to start dating again? Is it because the doctor has told you you’re pre-diabetic and can prevent a diagnosis if you lose weight? Or is it that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired? Once you figure that out for yourself, it answers the “why” of your weight loss goal and is the foundation of your motivation. Next comes ACTION, which can only follow once motivation has been established. Now there are two directions you can take: “Towards pleasure” or “Away from pain”: Write down all the reasons that stir real emotions in you to take action towards losing weight. This is just for you so be bold and honest with yourself, even if it’s very personal. This will tell you which direction is more compelling to your motivation to lose weight. Action towards pleasure involves painting a detailed and descriptive picture of what your life will be like if you do lose the weight, such as looking more attractive in fashionable clothes that fit better. Action away from pain involves painting a detailed and descriptive picture of what your life will be like if you don’t lose the weight, such as watching your health deteriorate. Decide which route of action gives you the most purpose. Lastly, getting the right support in place is extremely important, as is learning how to handle the stress and challenges of daily life in a healthy, constructive way that doesn’t cause you to abandon your weight loss efforts or turn to food for emotional comfort. If you find you are still unable to stay on your journey of weight loss, there may be deeper-seated personal issues causing you to self-sabotage your weight loss efforts; I would recommend seeking help from a professional qualified psychotherapist in order to help you name and explore these hidden and hard-to-look-at issues.